How To Release And Let Go OF Emotional Pain

A deep conditioned response to emotional pain and struggle for me has always been to ignore, distract, and bury it. When I'm dealing with a breakup, job stress, family tension, or any emotional discomfort I hide from it. [Ignore. Distract. Bury.]

I don't want to look at it. I don't want to feel it or even acknowledge it. Ignore. Distract. Bury. "Keep yourself busy" is what they say. Honestly that's horrible advice, and a load of bullshit. Eventually you're going to find a moment where you inevitably have to be alone and you won't be able to distract yourself any longer. And your going to have to deal with it. Your pain will bubble to the surface like the slippery snake that it is, and your going to have to face it. 

When dealing with the "snake" of pain and discomfort, I've become familiar with two approaches. The story route and the healing route. 

The STORY ROUTE:  In the past, when I DO actually look at what's hurting me, I develop a story around it. The story becomes a narrative I tell myself about how I'm the victim. How unfair life is and how "bad things just happen to good people sometimes". I'll put myself in this space of "poor me" I've been wronged, hurt, or knocked down. The problem with this is, that story doesn't heal me. That story perpetuates the wound, leaving a scar and weakness within me. The focus is on everything and everyone but me. And if the focus never comes back onto me, then I cannot heal. 

With my studies and devotion to self awareness, I know that the stories have to stop. Playing victim has to stop. I can't ignore, distract, or bury my pain. I've got to look at the snake that is my struggle, my hurt, my pain- square in the face. I've got to acknowledge it and feel it. I must own my part and look at myself without seeking blame, or becoming a victim. 

This idea of ownership is newer to me. The idea of owning my pain and leaning in into it is something I've only recently begun to do. Instead of replaying a "story" in my head, I accept and acknowledge what hurts and begin the process of healing. It's not easy to allow yourself to be vulnerable and lean into pain and discomfort, but the outcome is so worth it. This is the nature of the healing route. 

The healing route involves taking ownership of your part in the situation, releasing blame, and making peace with the things you cannot change. It's about creating a new story, one where you accept and choose love. You choose to love yourself and then you choose to love the person that hurt you. No action needs to take place, it can all be done with your thoughts and with your energy. Instead of repeating your "story" in your mind, you let it go and let compassion flow in. You let yourself off the hook and whoever your dealing with too by choosing to accept and by replacing blame with forgiveness and love. This wont happen in a day, sometimes it may take weeks, months, or years to truly heal. To not feel the twinges of anger or resentment. But I know the more I let go and let love into the situation, the more I become lighter, freer, and whole.

If you choose the healing route, (which I highly recommend) then incorporating rituals of self care can be very helpful in the process. Journaling, meditating, doing yoga, listening to music, walking, anything that makes you feel good and renewed. Surround yourself with uplifting people who raise your vibrational energy. Cleansing and releasing creates space for positive & recharging energy to flow in. 

I know we all have pain in our lives that we don't want to look at. I also know that when we confront the slippery snake that is our pain, we begin to heal. Today I choose to heal. 

Sending you light, love, and good vibes always-


Rachael Croll